The evolution of boundaries

As time moves forward and our lives begin to shift, we often find ourselves evolving into new versions of who we are meant to be. With growth comes clarity, and with clarity comes change. One of the most profound changes I’ve noticed in adulthood is the way our boundaries transform.

In our younger years, we are often more forgiving—more willing to accept words, actions, and behaviors from others that may not truly serve us. We brush things off, make excuses, or convince ourselves that it’s “just how people are.” But as Father Time keeps moving, so do we. What once seemed acceptable begins to feel heavy, even toxic. The words people speak, the energy they carry, and the way they treat us—things we might have tolerated before—begin to lose their place in our lives.

With age comes wisdom. Our outlook broadens, our patience thins for things that do not align with who we are becoming, and our circles of friends shift as we grow. We no longer feel the need to cling to every relationship simply because of history. Instead, we start to ask ourselves: Does this connection reflect the life I want? Does this treatment align with my worth?

Now that I have reached the midway point of my life, my perspective is sharper than it has ever been. I can see clearly that not everyone has our best interests at heart. Some people project their own fears or insecurities onto us, speaking things into the universe that do not belong to us and certainly do not define us. When we’re younger, it’s easy to absorb those words, but as we grow, we learn to reject them. We begin to understand the difference between what we are truly deserving of and what we must refuse to accept.

There comes a powerful moment when you stop and say to yourself: Wait a minute. I don’t deserve this. That moment is where real boundaries are born. It’s not just about putting up walls—it’s about honoring your own value. It’s about drawing a line and deciding, This is the kind of treatment I will no longer accept. This is the standard I will uphold for myself.

The truth is, people treat us how we allow them to treat us. When we stop tolerating poor behavior, one of two things happens: either they adjust and respect the new boundary, or we walk away. And yes, walking away is hard. People are not disposable like paper towels; they hold memories, shared experiences, and pieces of our hearts. But accepting treatment that chips away at our dignity is far harder in the long run.

To endure what we do not deserve is to settle for less than what life has to offer. And I don’t know about you, but I refuse to settle. Growth is not always easy—it asks us to let go, to shift, to be brave. But the reward is a life built on respect, authenticity, and love—starting with the love we show ourselves.