Where is the white Picket Fence

Very often I speak to my girlfriends about life and what we should and should not do. I have noticed that we all have had the same views on what life for women and marriage should be. We were taught that you go to school, you marry your sweetie, buy a home and start to have babies. That is suppose to be your happily ever after. That fairy tale is outdated. Our culture has changed our mind set has evolved. Women are finding there selves outside of their husbands shadow. I am not saying that”you are a strong woman and don’t need no man”. What I am saying is that our guide book needs to be updated. Starting first with you are a woman. You are not a man and by any means should you take on the role in a relationship as a man. The image if the modern lady is not classy, or elegant. We all wanted to be treated as queens however we need to let our kings claim their throne.

First you need to really focus on who you are and what you want. Not what you want in a partner or what can he bring to the table. What do you want for your self. Do you want to go to school and earn a degree? Do you want to travel the world? Do you want to buy a home?  Search your soul, meditate, let go of family wishes and expectations. Who are you? Once you come to terms with who you are as a person you need to start working on your goals. How do you expect to find what you are looking for if you are not sure who you are?

I took a 3 year hiatus  from dating. Within this time I came to find peace in being alone. ( even though I was never really alone I had my kids) I devoted myself to eating right and fitness. I was in the best shape of my life. I started obtaining my goals of buying my dream car which was only a Volkswagen beetle but it was what I wanted. I became more focused on work and my job performance lead me to a better position and eventually lead to my career in healthcare.  I was very happy with myself. I loved myself and I only wanted the best for myself and my children. It was then that I realized that my white picket fence was just a hallmark card away. There is a certain euphoric sensation when you  truly reach your happy place. It is something I can not describe. In a way it is like a high that never goes away.

Once I found this bliss I realized what the universe had to offer me and I felt like I had wasted so much valuable time on the wrong stuff. Like trying to please other people who in all honesty, just did not like themselves.  Other people can rob you of what you desire the most. That a discussion for another time. Today focus on you not your partner, not your children, not you work nor your friends. Find yourself in each and every momnet in life.